Tune in to @mom_cbs tonight 9/8c! Pictured here are me, Anna, Allison, Jaime, Mimi and Beth as we celebrate our real life polygamist wedding. As a cast they are phenomenal. As sister wives, just so-so.
Watch me and @annafaris do some of the following things this Thursday on #Mom on CBS: 1) ride horses 2) act 3) kill nazis 4) do jokes 5) do funny faces
What would take a normal team a couple hours takes my #passengersmovie hair and makeup team only 60 seconds!
My name is Burt Macklin... And I'm with the fuckin' F.B.I. Please follow my TV wife @plazadeaubrey Aubrey Plaza AKA Janet Snakehole. She is new to Instagram. 👍🏼🙏😉😊 She is going to post really weird and funny stuff. #parksandrec #burtmacklinyousonofabitch
One more still from the @vanityfair photo shoot. I have to credit the brilliant photographer @markseliger who discovered me wedged between these two rocks. It took him all day to pull me out. I had been stuck there for hours. I had barely enough strength to stare pensively into the distance. I mean, it was bad. Anyways. I almost had to chew off the lower half of my body to get out. But I'm not flexible enough. Bottom line. I could have died. But thanks to the brilliant photographer @markseliger I'm alive to tell the story, which is currently being optioned for a movie.
And here I am casually sniffing my knuckles.
I remember drinking this beer at the photo shoot and it tasted so good. Which reminds me of the time my friend from work went out with me for beer at this place on sunset about 17 years ago and brought a pitcher to the table and I said, "What beer is that? No wait don't tell me. Let me guess." And I sipped it. "Newcastle!" He was like, "Yah that's right...That's probably not a good sign Chris"
Here's me waiting for the photo shoot to start. I was like, "well guys, I'll just chill over here by my race car and rub my neck real quick. You know what I'm sayin'."
Here's me warming up after having to be in that freakin' cold ass water forever.
This is a picture of me on the cover of@VanityFair that water was cold AF. The magazine is on newsstands now. Is news stands one word? Is it newsstands or news stands? Siri didn't correct me and put a line underneath it so. That settles that. Anyways. You can go get it at the place where they sell magazines. Rite Aid or whatever. There is also an online version floating around somewhere. The article is very nice. Please read it. It talks about my upbringing and my faith. I remember seeing Heath Ledger on the cover of Vanity Fair when I was a kid. I read the article. Then one day I saw him driving through Hollywood. He had an awesome Ford Mustang. I drove a Suzuki Samurai at the time and was dead broke. Quick question... If a train of thought left my phone going 80 miles an hour due east- would it still be douchey to post more pics from my @vanityfair shoot?
May this new year bring you everything you wished and hope--- WHAT!? You already broke your resolution!? Jeez man!! It's been 4 minutes. Guys. Cmon!!!
Anna: Good morning Me: Whoa! You look........ beautiful. Anna: Why did you pause before you said beautiful? Me: Turn around. Anna: Why? Me: Just do it. I wanna take a picture. (She turns around... I take this picture) Me: Look. (Show her picture) Me: You look like Braveheart. Anna: Oh my God. You're right. Me: Freeeeeeeeeeeeddddoooooom!!!
Here a young Chris Pratt poses on the red carpet wearing designer bunny ears and blue vest by Goodwill of America.
So happy to see my dear friend #ByungHunLee in #seoul Such great guy!!!
See #Passengers on Dec. 21st and see if you can spot the stunt that caused these bruises!
Here's the other side. No rest for the weary. I do (some of) my own stunts.
This is @bridgetbragerhair getting me ready for Conan. You should follow her on instagram. Also, you should go see the #passengersmovie on December 21st.
A special thank you to the staff at @childrensla You have incredibly tough jobs. You truly are angels. You have the difficult job of being on the front lines day to day, providing care and comfort for the most vulnerable and precious among us, our children and seeing their families through tough times. To all the nurses, doctors and staff members who work so hard, the unsung heroes at Children's Hospitals around the world, Thank You!
I'm so grateful for the dedication and sacrifice of our wonderful men and women in uniform. Without you there's no me. It was my pleasure to meet and spend a little time with folks at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar. We flew in this afternoon to present and talk all things #passengersmovie I got a chance to meet a ton of great people. I'm moved by your sacrifice and thankful for your service! 🇺🇸