My son’s first picture of me!! and as you can see he captured my heart melting into a thousand tiny droplets of love. I am a silly, emotional and proud mama. Every first of his is just the beginning of a new intimate conversation I get to have with my beautiful boy. I ache and dream and await each and every one. Love you baby b.
That unversed narrative in your mind. That exists only in a few words. Further that narrative. Fill in the blanks. You will quickly see if it has purpose. Now change your scene. And fill in the verse that makes you happy. That makes you feel seen. It might be that easy.
Flowers for men or rather my small steps to reclaim the divine masculine in us all.
and the world isn’t ending, its just growing up and over us and our constant need for making it a park. all that wild and dark is pissed and teething. we, the blip and the speck, may be the smallest thing that ever fantasized so large.
Breaking the 4th wall of winter.
Love letters that can possibly out live your physical body.
@theshoeperforms at echo park lake. Who took this ?? And @lemjayig where the f are you ?
We landed on the moon/ In my golden orbit When Light reflected simply And perfectly from my own I will always remember Where I was Who I was For your first landing When life and a million dancing Angels Gave me to you. ---------------
My body is more than a field map Which can only speak in prayer But can not kneel In kindness To its own being
“ I got saved by poetry. And I got saved by the beauty of the world “ Mary Oliver /// Real kinship is one where two hearts find a sacred belonging in the same point of view. Mary Oliver was kin to me. A mother figure who allowed my forest to be a church and my everyday moments a prayer of astonishment. Real family cant always give you permission to be holy and be yourself. Sometimes it’s the kindred spirts that come to you in many forms that bring permission into your life. Permission to love what you love. Freedom to seek joy where your spirit craves it. In honor of Mary , I’m allowing 2019 to be the year of kinship for me. Bringing more people into my life that mirror my light , spending more time and care with the people that give me permission to be myself. I’ve been desperately building this image of family since I gave birth to my son , a lineage I want to pass down to him and surround him with. But it’s been hard because I’ve been missing the higher understanding that real kinship is not always about blood ties . Thank you Mary for awaking in me a new found strength and giving me permission to build the image of family in my own light. And I love you. Thank you.
You know the feeling
I speak to you like I long to be spoken to. Softly. Bravely. With patience and love. Transparent to any moods and misunderstandings. In plain tongue. With an open heart. Oh honey, you are a far better teacher then you know. Teaching me that delicate art of loving myself better , being kinder and gentler with missteps and preconditions. As I navigate , you absorb. As I speak , you listen and mirror. The best thing I can give you is an inner monologue that speaks of allowing and acceptance . One that supports and forgives and laughs easily into the evening. One that looks in the mirror and instantly sees worth and gratitude. I’m not completely there yet my love. But that is another lesson you teach me every day , it’s not about completion , but rather a day by day evolution. No other man in the world I’d rather be learning this with my sweet boy. We got this :)
The boulder problem // At risk of crying He stands down It’s so effortless This look of thriving Amongst the boulders and smaller men He loves the edge The paper thin membrane Of no return With wild abandon Where did he learn it was ok to abandon Children and animals And young women Who’s hearts were on the verge Of giving everything He disconnects so well This is why he likes the edge He was taught everything human and broken belonged in the distance He could shoulder Only the view That was so picturesque But grotesque Because Nothing grows well At his elevation
Island expiration. Scouting pirate cabin building pads and found this falling down cabin near the water. The squatters had amazing taste in music and reading. Old tapes of the pretenders. I found the likes of Jack Kerouac , Walt Whitman and much more. So many ways to live in this wild world. All temporary and all sacred. Blessed to have souls that seek adventure and reverberate light near me on my journey thus far. Thanks @argonautphoto
Musing on my main muse. I’m so glad we get to be imperfectly divine together. We have the chance of growing something so beautiful together.
Unearthed creative play! Circa 2013?? @shelbyduncan behind the lens recreating our ode to Věra Chytilová’s masterpiece in feminist new wave filmmaking #daisies @nicoledisson and myself stepping into the roles of zany , strong, unapologetic women for the day. A dream come true on all fronts.
Permission walks into a room like they know they are welcome. Empowerment sits alone on a bench and feels the community of humans that came before. Compassion sits down before it collapses in the corner. Love allows before it ever defines. Walking into the new year with some old friends I haven’t seen for awhile. Whom are you walking with today? #walkingwithpermission #walkingwithempowerment #walkingwithcompassion #walkingwithlove
Throw back to 12 year old me at my first golden globe experience. I was nominated for best actress in a mini series/ made for television film. Along with Vanessa Redgrave , Meryl Streep , Ellen Barkin and Alfre Woodard ( who won!) . I was sort of in shock the whole time. But funny how shock comes off as composed as a youngster. I had these angels ( Goldie, who directed the film I was nominated for and Kurt )to guide me thru the night. Thank goodness for the allies and angels I’ve had around me to help navigate such shark infested waters. I don’t remember whom I was wearing ( didn’t seem to matter as much then). I do remember I was shooting stepmom at the time and Julia Roberts was also nominated and she was kind enough to let me and my nanny fly in with her on her private plane ( she was also nominated for best actress in a comedy for “ my best friends wedding”) What a wild thing it is to sit in the nostalgia of my youth briefly and unpack such once in a blue moon memories. Life is a trip. Especially since just 4 years prior I was dumpster diving for food and proof of purchases with my mom and siblings. Gratitude is too simple of a word to describe how it feels to look back at my trajectory. I feel such deep love but maybe something more like purpose is a better word. The gifts I’ve been given have given me a purpose that resonate in every moment of my being. I’m so happy I’ve followed my own path ( and so happy I was such a self aware and stubborn child ) it’s an honor to sit back and watch the circus now. Having experienced it in such an innocent and important way. But for those that have never been or in reality will prob never go to en event like this , it’s really not the giant myth it’s made out to be. More like being in a circus for a night of your peers. A roast , a toast , a grand facade of belonging in an industry that’s deeply isolated from one another. But fun as hell. Yes. So much fucking fun. And terrifying ( but that’s simply another layer of fun is it not ?)
You and our mountain. Things that sustain me no matter the distance.