(personal prayer// don’t take this personal) This year has been the hardest/ most important of my life Leaving california ,my friends and my family to seek a new life of balance &sustainability for me and my son Navigating the ever changing waters of being a single mother in a way that feels authentic to me Learning how to create space for myself as a woman and artist Starting to put one foot back in the door of picking up where I left my work and passions pre pregnancy Buying a tiny house and starting a life in a place where I didn’t know a soul Healing and tending my relationship with my mother Healing and tending my relationship with my ex partner and building the light we want to exude for our son Rediscovering my sexuality after having a child Falling deeply in love with a man whom spoke of marriage and his deep love for my son only to be completely discarded by him almost overnight ( that was a rough one ) Started smoking cigarettes again ( the worst addiction I’ve ever known) Finally completely quitting them ( almost two weeks strong now! accepting light and love and all forms of support) Discovering I have an auto immune disease with no cure ( psoriasis) Just battling and loving and learning and giving and feeling so empty only to wake with my heart so full again and again. My work this year has been learning to be open to my own suffering. Overcoming my fear of the mess pain causes. Looking into the lions mouth and realizing that it’s actually the truest path towards my higher self. Pain is the fast track towards human evolution if you can find the courage to accept it. I’m still learning this/allowing this muscle to flourish. I wake every day to the light of my beautiful son and in the next moment hear stories of the earth burning and people deeply hurting and toxic old paradigms still having a strong hold on the human heart. It feels like too much sometimes. It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by your inability to change anything in this world. Just the ability to change your own human impulses seems wildly hard most days. I’ve decided to not be silent in this journey of learning to lasso my fear and embrace this evolution. Staying open to what comes
I have more to learn from the tide than from telling time. ————
The practice of using a camera allows me to constantly be considering what is holy and what is in front of me. Regardless of how time dresses my experience in loss or gain. The flesh of the matter , the naked truth will always remain. And I think this is what pushes me to use a camera , or my words or my body to dance light/ meaning into the moment. To help me see what is holy and what is really there in front of me. I’m glad I can share these things but in reality it’s a deeply personal practice of trying to be present. Not just to my human body or it’s limited experience here but present to my own divinity and grace. So I guess thank you for being part of my practice and witness to my journey thus far.
The tide A natural conversation Between us Filled with crescendos Tongue flicks And a thousand Restrung Broken hearts.
Honey , this is heaven.
It’s my birthday and I can be reborn if I wanna.
// our creation story is simple. And I like it that way// ——- Somewhere in all that dirt Is you and I Crawling out of the earth Looking towards the sky
I’ve never felt more at home. Side of the road. With the ones who lift your heart up like it was their own.
Speak softly into this space. Choose words with intent and grace. This digital translation doesn’t sing as sweetly as your breath near my face.
It’s pretty easy to know me. Just take off your shoes and sit on the floor with me. Or dance with me with your eyes closed. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.
When I am weak from the bleakness that surrounds , I always fall back on the warm bed of poetry to help lift me back into the dance of being truly seen and heard. This poem is from the human fire #adriennerich #iwantawholenewwayofbeinginthisworld #guncontrolandmentalhealth #youcantseparatethetwo #nooneisabovethelaw #fuckingscoundrals
Just this. The innate being expressed in the infinite. That’s all I will ever need.
A long lost @theshoeperforms song made when we first met that we never released and one of the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever captured. My queen at her fullest @bethanymccarty @lemjayig on piano and me on tap shoes and voice.
Mailed in my ballot today and this photo pretty much describes my pure and utter joy of making my voice heard. #thisadministrationcankissmyass #vote 📸 @jennyparking
Not only are you powerful, you are prestigious. Not only are you prestigious, you are beautiful. Not only are you beautiful, you are consciousness. Not only are you consciousness, you are the spirit. Not only are you the spirit, you are the security of the future, the most bountiful beauty ever created. Men call it ‘woman.’ #YogiBhajan photo by the divine @neilkrug
/the boys of my youth/I wish it had been said how bad you were in bed and how I left you breathless reaching your 5th or 6th climax of the day and how you left me wetting my fingers to feed myself I kept thinking your pleasure was enough that somehow your ecstasy could be transmuted to me what a strong held game of the patriarchy calling bluff on our divinity masking their inadequacy simply by refusing to learn the eloquent language of the female body I refuse to engage with sexually monolingual men I refuse to teach my son the“ drive thru” sex culture I was raised with. And gentleman , now is your time , in so many ways , to shed the clothes that have suppressed your human heart and run naked into that wild forest of true intent. I believe in you. I will stand by you as you crawl out of that cave you were raised into. I will gladly answer any and all questions you have on this journey back to your divine. And I love you. #sacredsexuality #callingyououtwithlove #sexualawakening #notallboysturntomen
An ode to the memo my son will never read I open a book I see what I use to see a shape that looks like a man In a children’s story It says “ he is wearing a red hat” But I stop And look toward my son And I see two eyes That have yet to define That simple shape And it hurts my heart And confounds me How immense the unlearning of oppressive languaging Can be So I look again And what I see is a person With clothes on And I tell my son They are wearing a red hat They are looking at a cat They are wearing blue jeans Together We are learning a gender neutral vocabulary That can allow all of the world to be seen. These are the small steps I’m taking as a single white cis mother of privilege to free the human heart from any and all means of oppression . I know it’s not a lot. But I wanted to share. Because every little piece counts in this grand equation of changing the world together. #nonbinary #gnc #trans #intersex #transrightsarehumanrights #protecttranskids #iwontletyoubeerased
—how did I get so lucky— to be this little golden hearts number one lady —— he swings his arms tightly around my neck and tells me “ mama I’m so proud of you , your so brave “ and then runs off and allows me time to melt into a thousand puddles. I must have said that to him a hundred times but he says it to me like it’s his original creation. Like his mind cooked up something so beautiful for me he can hardly find his breath to share. And it never gets old. All we both do is grow and grow and grow and still , he stops time with his being , every time.
If I had to write an epitaph in this moment it may be this. Or what I want to press deeply into every growing human heart. This equation is always balanced from the inside out. Not from depleting your own precious self. I’ve literally torn my heart open from the inside out just to keep giving to people and situations that didn’t respect my worth/ my heart/ my being. I wish someone, a little birdie had whispered this into my ear as a 14 year old girl on the wild journey of becoming. So here I am. Think of me as a tiny bird that lands for three seconds on your shoulder and sings something sweetly into your ear. A melody you won’t have to try and remember because your body will naturally do that for you. Such is the wild art of innate medicine. All you have to do is listen.