not a lot of people know this but i am actually just a disembodied head that kirsten vangsness and erica messer carry around on set and sometimes accidentally leave in the parking lot
i own one pair of jeans but a ton of 3-dimensional tooth fairy sweaters
30 seconds before i ate that dog
charlotte, miranda, samantha, and carrie
what's the most jarring element of this photo? the fact that i gashed my knee open trying to scare someone while jumping out of a dark bush on thanksgiving? the fact that i'm wearing an orange zoot suit that I bought for 37 dollars from a man named ned? or is it the one lonely toenail clipping on the floor?...a lot going on... #thanksgivingforever!
happy thanksgiving from norbert, the turkey who thinks he's a ham
season 1 of criminal minds
my favorite 3rd grade substitute teacher
it's saturday! put on a sparkly hat, grab a tiny cup of coffee, and pretend like you don't have a "young guns 2" poster in your bedroom
after directing 10 episodes i finally found a way to sneak a star-fade into criminal minds #elliotspond
in case you couldn't tell from the missing kid's outfit, i directed last night's episode of criminal minds. #elliotspond
the man who invented pez
from now on i only post shirtless photos of myself looking dangerous #28daycryogenicnap
was cryogenically frozen for 28 days and just woke up looking like this. what did i miss and where are my pants?
me at the beach
mom is coming back to drive carpool