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danecook

Американский стэндап-комедиант, актёр, режиссёр, сценарист и продюсер.
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I just got the strangest #Postmates cancellation via text. Enjoy my reply.

Hanging with my buddy @AlwaysChopper watching the @Patriots. #NFL #SunDaneFunDane #ChopperFive

I have scars all over my head from a deadly dog attack when I was 4. I never shaved my head bc my mom was so traumatized by witnessing the dogs vicious blitzkrieg, which sent me into emergency surgery resulting in over 80 stitches. This week I decided to finally take a razor to it and see if I had a weird head or halfway decent noggin. The scars are not bad and have faded after so many years of life on earth. Grateful he didn’t get hold of my face or my modeling career would have been ruined. I never had a chance to thank the doctors who saved my life so thanks doctors who saved my life! People ask me all the time, “are you afraid of dogs now?” My response is always, “I love dogs. I just don’t like when they bite my head all over.”

Me at #fashionweek circa #backintheday.

Last night we saw Thor : Ragnarok in 3D. We gave it 5 🔨 (out of 5.. so yeah it Ragnarok’d).

Chopper Five relaxin’ at home.

Hangin’ with the boys.

The ocean & I.

#holyshit

Congrats to @b_burk & everyone involved In this fascinating documentary, “Jane.” I’m a huge doc fan and this is my favorite of the year hands down. Footage is never before seen.. Jane Goodall is a remarkable woman and her story is inspiring.

#escaperoom night with Sealed Team 6 Thx to everyone at @thebasementla for making it a frightfully good time.

For no reason whatsoever.

Camp Crystal Lake

Happy #FridayThe13th from Jason & I.

I call this “Web of Hollywood”

Damn!! This is how I just found out about Ralphie. A good guy & a constantly funny comedian. Ralphie & I used to perform in LA for years together on shows. We never had a conversation that didn’t entertain us. Let me tell you what solid guy May was. Once some years back he said something about me on the radio that got back to me and being a sensations asshole I called him on it. He called the radio station back and apologized. I was blown away. He was big enough to take responsibility for something that honestly was nothing significant. It showed his character. In a week that is already difficult please watch some Ralphie May online today and celebrate a really gifted guy. #seeyamay #seeyacook

This is the day of my first paid gig doing stand up comedy. I remember making 25 bucks to do 10 minutes of stand up. I probably only had 10 minutes of jokes & 3 of them any good.. kinda. I remember the host giving me the cash after. I wasn’t expecting it. I actually didn’t ask before I performed. I just wanted to do stand up comedy and was living my dream. It’s still my dream & I look forward to performing tonight just as much as when I was a new comedian searching for my voice.

Arlington, Massachusetts

#fbf #meshshirt #tubesocks #shortshorts #hightops #pale #happykid

I have not posted a pic In a while. Here’s one of my fucking face.

Maui, Hawaii

Just floating through life with my favorite.

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