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danecook

Американский стэндап-комедиант, актёр, режиссёр, сценарист и продюсер.
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Gillette Stadium

Here are some of my favorite #fbf memories of #Patriots moments with incredibly supportive people. Robert Kraft.. love this guy. Jonathan too. Myra may you RIP you always made me feel at home. @tedybruschi I won’t ever forget being whisked into the locker room and taking a knee next to you. I can not wait until Sunday. #LETSGO

My sister @_courtneycook_ sent me this today and says, “your tie looks like black licorice” and my “collar looks like a knife.” #dying #eyebrowscar #captionthis

#10yearchallenge accepted

In stand up, as comedians, we are never truly “finished” cultivating a routine. We polish & tweak, painstakingly night after night searching for the prime entry point, most delightful mid build up to a robust ending (cue laughter / applause). It doesn’t matter if you are a storyteller, joke slinger or absurdist. The formula is what it has always been. So we perform it, craft it and ship it off. I’ve done it many times. And realize this... we get one shot a night at getting it right. You have an off night that bit might get tossed in the dumpster. At a certain point you let it go. Trust me, every great comedian years and years later will remember a certain routine and say, “I know what I should have added!” This story I won’t have to do that. As an actor, writer & director this is the best material I’ve created. It’s taken a long time and though there is more work to do.. this.. away from stand up.. is where my mind is at. I can’t wait to share with you.. a unique look at a complex life. A film with heart, humor & drama organically intermingled. #LETSGO

Arlington, Massachusetts

In my career I have been told I would never make it, I don’t deserve my success, I won’t last & I am not deserving of any of it. The people who made these declarations I can’t tell you where they are today. I’ve been ahead of more curves and always played the long game to create a sustainable career. I’ve known when to push harder, I’ve known when to back away. I’ve weathered storms from other “respected” comedians only to come out the other side clean while they got stuck in the very mud they slung. I’ve also forgiven those who didn’t ask yet. I’ve maintained a respect for this art form - stand up comedy - and I’ve cemented my legacy. History books already written and put on the shelf. From Billboard charts to Madison Square Garden, tv, film, theater, print, broadcasting - all accomplished over years of honing my skills. This next tour isn’t just another comedy tour.. it’s bigger. In the last two years all these secret pop up shows I’ve done have brought out 3 generations of comedy fans. I’m playing the venues I wanna play with the comedians I want to work alongside. LA, NYC & everywhere else. My companies have thrived for over 20 years. This from a welfare kid outta Boston. This from a kid with no self esteem. This from a dreamer & a believer. Nothing can fucking stop an unstoppable drive. Momentum is a muthafahhhka - positive equates to progress - negative degrades the senses & blurs the cross routes. You can’t see the whole picture if you are focusing on one small blemish that you put out there with your lack of discipline. I’ve said it before.. nothing is impossible. Keep pushing, keep striving and keep hoping. If you feel like stopping, do more. If you feel like quitting, finish. If you feel like it doesn’t matter, you’re wrong. If you feel unloved, love yourself more. If you feel confused, re-examine. If you feel scared, accept it. If you feel like you can make it, you will.

Patiently waiting to get back on tour. 🎤

A quick recap of 2018. Happy new year everyone! #2019 is gonna be epic.

Backstage. Waiting. For. My. Tour. To. Start. TIX&411 on DaneCook.com #TellItLikeItIs #TILIS #2019 #comedyevent #recordbreakingsaleforover2decades #billboardcharts #madisonsquaregarden #bostongarden #carnegiehall #all50statesplayed #highestsalesincanadaandusduringISoltedINcidenttour #cantstopwontstop #ilovemyjob

Here is a quick trip down the road I have traveled. The ‘Tell It Like It Is” 2019 tour is going to be a fun and funny next chapter. Record breaking ticket sales over the holidays has me feeling excited and ready to go. To all the fans I have grown up with I can’t wait to see you there. To new fans I look forward to hearing from you after the gigs! All the tix & 411 are on my website located in my bio. #comedy #standup #laughter #haha

Los Angeles, California

Xmas with a wonderful gang of merry makers. We ate, laughed, and relaxed more than our fill. Special shout out to my co-head chef and gf @itskelsitaylor for our food prepping and delivery methods. The day started off at the @laughfactoryhw where I served the community. Grateful for the chance to give back when I can. Growing up many people and organizations helped my own fam when we needed some support.

Happy fuckin’ Xmas all of you rad ass homeskillets. I hope your gawd damn season is bright as fuck. I hope you get gifts that make you say, “awww fuck I needed this AND wanted it!!” If you got a special someone — tell’em and maybe they will put up with your shortcomings a little longer until finally the two of you can relinquish to the fact you are, we are, all broken people trying to fit in. Y’all memba that the only thing absolute is the yesterday ain’t squat. It’s done. It’s finito. It’s meaningless. Tomorrow is a blank code in the simulation. Nothing there yet but hopes. Today is the mission. Happy damn new year too. Make sure you help others and don’t be a greedy shitbum. #merryxmas

#tbt to a decade ago when spiders infested my fully decorated Xmas tree. You’ve never seen someone bag and punt a tree so fast in your life. #merryxmas #🕷

Los Angeles, California

Sitting on my porch with my dog just letting the year wash over me. It was a lot of work but from it came great rewards. I appreciate you all. I’m grateful for my friendships, my health & my future. Sometimes life can drop a dump truck filled with old dildos on your head but other times it just lets that dump truck filled with the old dildos just drive on by so you can point and laugh with the rest of the world. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m looking forward to sharing 28 years of experiences with you on my Tell It Like It Is tour next year and I hope you come out and spend sometime with me. See ya on the flip side.

It’s the 12 Dane’s of Christmas!

United States

‪Presale starts tomorrow at 10am & ends at 10pm Thurs.‬ ‪ ‪Tix go fast so use the presale pw. Password: TellIt‬ ‪ More 411 in my bio. ‬ Post pix in your story of your confirmation tix & TAG me. If I see them I will randomly choose people to upgrade or get some new merch! #comedy #standup #livenation

Here is a #tbt pic with my sister @_courtneycook_ for something I was promoting somewhere. It’s been fun working with her and I look forward to what’s next!

This is my favorite moment before I take the stage. The few silent thoughts that stream through my mind as I go from normal human guy to the transformation onstage becoming some kind of super robot that can spit improv faster than I can think it between the well crafted framework of a “routine.” The merging of a real present cerebral conversation seamlessly intertwined with bits meticulously crafted over months and years. I’ve stood onstage for more of my life than having not performed. I’ve spent most of my life as a comedian and an entertainer. It’s been a gift to me and it has been a gift I give. I have worked along side the best comedians on the planet at the best clubs with the best stages. I’ve been a part of their lives and your lives. If you are a hardcore fan or casual observer or even a non fan that just wants to see what I’ve drummed up.. this is my truth. This is what I live for. I’ve gotten pretty good the last few years. Better than ever. Happier than ever. More ferocious than ever in my journey for unadulterated truth. I have a lot to say... I’m waiting for my intro. I am seeing my success by sharing my failures and my crowning achievements. This is going to be another incredible journey. #ilovemyjobbaby

Los Angeles, California

I went full Griswald this year. #lit

7 years ago today we lost one of the funniest people I’ve ever worked with and someone I was proud to have called my friend, Patrice O’Neal. Unique & unrelenting onstage. Inquisitive and wise. Raw and real. I spent many many years working back east (and on the road) with Bruiser. Our moms were friends and always would sit together at gigs and support each other’s sons. Patrice also stuck up for me on more than one occasion when I was taking hits from haters. He never was swayed, his loyalty rock solid. He had a great heart and as time has passed he once told me about a few people to be weary of. He was right about all of them. Thx man for the insight and the foresight. You left an impression like no other performer I know and I miss seeing you making the masses laugh. My shows tonight are for you Patrice. RIP my road dog friend and brother.

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