Sundays are for families and since I didn’t make my own, I take @marycmccormack little nuggets and torture them.
Thank you, @sunvalleyfilmfest. Please invite me every year. Photo by @lolamitchcrist
Today is my oldest sissy’s bday, and I am reminded today of all the times you wrapped your arms around me. My favorite thing about sisters is the look. The look that says ‘come get me, leave me alone, or please get into bed and spoon me. I love you, mony baloney. You are my hero, sister sledge!
🏆 #LifeWillBeTheDeathofMe out April 9! @tiffanyhaddish
Loving this spring skiing in #sunvalley.
Health care is a human right. Reproductive health care is a human right. I stand against the latest attack on reproductive health care because people deserve to hear ALL their options. I stand with Planned Parenthood to #ProtectX: http://bit.ly/titlex-4
There are days when I am able to trap Bert into a position that makes feel like I’m on safari and holding a lion. This is one of those days. #bert
Announcing special guests on my sit-down comedy tour starting with Frankie Shaw on April 11 in Boston, Sean Hayes on April 26 in Chicago and Natasha Lyonne on May 3 in New York City. #lifewillbethedeathofme tickets to shows link in bio! @nlyonne @seanhayes @frankieshawisag
Chelsea doesn’t call me “Sassy Bitch” for no reason. #bertandbernice
Sundays are like whatyoutalkinaboutwillis?#bertandbernice
As we know my workouts with Ben Bruno are not the secret to dieting, what I eat for breakfast is.
Ran into some @comiclonilove @natashaleggero last night with @marycmccormack why I’m holding Natasha in a headlock is a question for another time.
For International Women’s Day - To every person who identifies as a woman out there – here’s to you. #internationalwomensday
We won’t end extreme poverty without gender equality. These activists know that. And this #IWD2019, they've teamed up with @ONE to make sure world leaders know it, too. Let's make sure our leaders hear them LOUD. AND. CLEAR. Go to @ONE’s profile to sign their letter for gender equality.
This is the face i return home to. Not even welcome in my own home. #bertshouse #pissed
My new book is available for pre-order! Life Will Be the Death of Me will be out April 9. Pre-order now and get the first chapter in advance. http://bit.ly/CHPreOrder | #lifewillbethedeathofme
Chelsea Handler - Bert has low self-esteem #bertandbernice