Some people have complained that my lunches for Sid haven’t been “healthy” enough. Can’t say I agree. But this “Mean Green Fart Machine” should silence the critics (if not Sid’s butt). Clockwise from bottom right: broccoli florets, celery stalks, “art” basil, aloe branch, and cucumber “dessert”. #dadsouttherekillingit #health @jennymollen @dictatorlunches #muthafuckinteets
While the lunches I make for Sid are clearly nutritional and delicious, I’ve yet to make them connect to a theme, the way @jennymollen and @dictatorlunches do. Until today. I call this one “The Birds And The Bees.” Clockwise from bottom right: “Unfertilized” hard-boiled egg with salt-n-pepa, “limp” and “dysfunctional” carrot, millions of tiny rice “sperms” trying to get to the egg, Tabasco™️ to help “heat” things up, and a chocolate “aphrodisiac” for dessert. #dadsouttherekillingit #nevertooyoungtohavethetalk
So @jennymollen is in LA for a few days, which means that @dictatorlunches goes on a brief hiatus while yours truly takes over the #lunch game. Lucky Sid. Clockwise from left: the remainder of his Halloween candy that I forgot I had hidden from him, one shrimp (possibly still alive, hopefully doesn’t like candy). #dadsouttherekillingit #muthafuckinteets #organic
How sweet- Laz did a #throwback 1970’s photo shoot!
I’m even creepin into your local news story about Christmas tree stands. My influence knows no bounds. #dadsouttherekillingit #yuletide (📸 @imtimjohnson)
OMG @jennymollen @galenhooks hahahaha
Mickey better watch himself. @mickeytrueoriginal @jennymollen
Here’s a picture of @jennymollen standing under a canopy of yellow leaves in the rain after she just voted THAT’S WHAT’S UP
#ad #branbod #dadsouttherekillingit
There’s no place like Instagram to show off dope Halloween costumes from years past. #fbf #rouge #dadsouttherekillingit
I didn’t need any further proof that I married up, but I guess just to really hit the point home @jennymollen did a beautiful cover and hilarious article for this month’s @minimagazine.
Check out my new Kellogg’s Raisin Bran BranBod Plan. I make fiber and digestive wellness look sexy, and you can too! (Wink Emoji) #Ad #KelloggsRaisinBran #DadsOutThereKillingIt #BranBod
Get ready to rock the BranBod of your dreams, all it takes is some Kellogg’s Raisin Bran and a whole lot of Can-Do-Itude!!!! #Ad #KelloggsRaisinBran #BranBod #DadsOutThereKillingIt
I SEE YOU, LADIES 😘🔥
I first tried to get sober over 5 years ago, when the weight of my obsession with booze and drugs became too heavy for me to handle. Turns out this shit is hard. After some fits and starts, I’ve managed to put together one year of sobriety. I’m as proud of it as anything in my life. If you’re struggling, know there’s help. Don’t be ashamed. We can do this. 💪🙏
Hi! In NYC this weekend? Looking for a fun live show? Not an assassin hired to shoot me? Come check this out. Gonna be cool AF. Link for tix in bio. Also- who the eff is that guy ☝️? @clubcumming
Hottie alert 🚨 next to me at this coffee shop. Bout to drop some game. Keep ya posted.
The paper towel straggler. Nope. Peak OCD. Must be a clean tear. Now I have to stand on one leg while I count all the silverware again.
Mornin’. #candid #toilet #dadsouttherekillingit